Friday, December 26, 2014

2014: Life's Mountains Are Both Difficult And Rewarding

This is seriously the longest I have ever taken to make a blog post. I've gotten into the bad habit of just posting short updates and pictures on Facebook, and never really getting into the nitty and gritty of life like I usually do here on my blog. I've been feeling the need to write for a very long time, and Christmas has given me the time to reflect and the stronger desire to get a blogpost going. So here it is!

Our summer was a pretty good one, though hectic. Josh was using every spare moment he had to try and earn a few extra bucks and work on projects (both for us and others). I was extremely pregnant, due September 7th, so that cut down family outings quite a bit. But we tried to squeeze in some fun time with the boys.

We borrowed a projector from Josh's dad's office, and we watched the Lego movie outside for Quinn's 5th birthday. He thought we were the bomb-diggity.




We took the boys up Santaquin Canyon a couple times to play in the mountains. They love playing in the stream and throwing rocks. Every one of us love the solitude that comes from spending time away from everything, even if it is just for an afternoon.




And Josh took them all the way to our backyard for a sleepover in our tent. They had a blast, and I'm glad that they got to have some sort of "camping" experience, despite my pregnant self.



Quinn and I harvested our grapes this year and made Grape Jelly. It is still his favorite jam to eat with his peanut butter sandwiches. I love the reward of just a little bit of work, on the path to becoming more self-sufficient.




And then our lives took an immediate hard turn. 5 weeks early, after spending the evening hosting a party at our house, I awoke in the middle of the night to my water breaking. Not only had I never actually had my water break, but I'd never gone more than 5 days early, either. Josh and I were scared. Our good friends took Quinn and Logan in the middle of the night, and Josh and I headed to the hospital. After hours of convincing the doctor and nurses that I really had broken my water and that my contractions were real one, they finally checked me and noticed I was moments from giving birth. On August 2nd, at 9:47 AM, Declan Ian McNeff came into our world, and our lives have been forever changed. He is such a little darling, he's my baby boy, keeps me happy (and exhausted), and I wouldn't change a thing about him! 

But our lives together started off really shaky. They couldn't get him to breathe on his own, so just over 12 hours after he was born, they life-flighted him to another NICU in another hospital, leaving me stranded without my baby in my hospital room. The day-to-day steps we took to get him home are archived on my facebook wall, and I'm in tears going through them, so I don't think I can write it all down again here. But I'll post some pictures of our journey together.

Having him in another hospital, 30 minutes away, and me not being able to be with him at all times, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. Our car's transmission died amidst all of this, and we were down to one vehicle. Our boys were going through some major withdrawals from Josh and I being gone all the time. Josh had to take work off for a couple weeks until we got Declan home to take care of the older boys. I was able to run up to Orem every day to see my baby, but I could never stay very long because of the boys back home, so at most I would see him for 3-4 hours a day, only being able to attempt nursing him 2x a day, and then I would have to turn around and run home to my other boys who were missing their mommy so badly. I pretty much cried every day to and from the hospital, because I felt like I was always leaving one of my sons behind, and it was really rough to do. I was a mess. My baby had pneumonia and was taking a long time to learn how to breathe on his own, I couldn't even hold him until he was about a week old, and then only limited times until he was weaned off the oxygen more, he wouldn't nurse, and the doctors and nurses kept pushing back the "go home" day. After 3.5 weeks, we finally got to take him home, with oxygen, and try and get our lives back on track.


The first time I held my baby.


The first time Josh held Declan.




Quinn's first visit to the hospital (They wouldn't allow any kids younger, and then only on Sundays for a few minutes).


Meanwhile, back at home... lol


Quinn's first day of school happened while Declan was still in the hospital, too. He is so grown up and cute!

When we finally got him home.


Logan meeting his little brother for the first time.


Daddy sleeping with his baby on the couch. you can see all the cords we had to have him hooked up to at home.


And then he got his oxygen off, and life was semi-normal again :) These are his baby pictures.







He got healthier and healthier, and is just a normal baby now. And we all couldn't love him more!












Just after we got our baby home, Josh was back in school, but out of a job. He took on making frames and any other woodworking jobs he could get until we figured out what to do. This is his shop in the backyard, where he spends a lot of time these days. He loves working with wood!

I got a job substitute teaching for Nebo and Provo Districts. I work when Josh isn't at school, and basically make enough to cover gas. But we are trying to make it work. It's difficult finding a job that will work around your school schedule. And Josh needs to seriously focus on getting through these classes and graduating so we don't have to be in this situation ever again. I'll be going back to school this January to get my teaching certification to go along with my degree, so that I can teach full time while he finishes up. Our biggest challenge will come this summer with jobs, but we're taking it one day at a time.



...And knocking holes in the walls when we get bored lol.






So as you can expect, we did not plan a big Christmas this year. We decided that we have a bit of talent and ingenuity, so we decided to make Christmas homemade this year. The boys painted pictures for Josh.



As did I :)


I made each of the boys a scarf, hat and mittens. 



Josh made them each a toy wooden car.

And Quinn made Logan a cuddle blanky.

  It was really nice, and I look forward to doing similar Christmases in the future.

We tried to make the season magical for our boys.


We made a gingerbread house for FHE, and then ate it on Christmas Eve. We cut out snowflakes and put them on our window (which was greatly needed for lack of real snow). Also on Christmas Eve, we read the boys a Christmas story and explained why we celebrate Christmas.






And then we found ourselves so blessed to have secret Santas drop by gifts for our family. We were so blessed, and are incredibly grateful for all those who helped us make this season bright! This has been one of the most memorable Christmas's, and our hearts have been touched more deeply than anyone can imagine.











Here's to hoping 2015 will be just as great, with fewer mountains to climb!